I want to thank God for this day. It's a little bit painful yet praise God for everything. He knows how to comfort the comfortless, to help the helpless and to give joy to those who are in pain and sorrow. This is the unexpected day for me last year and my last day to see someones special to me.
This day is the First Year Death Anniversary of my father. I never thought that my father would die that day. Well, let me share the whole story. Month of September, last year, I never thought that we need to move to a new house, it's a little bit confusing to me because if I'm like others or someone, I already go to those people who can be caused of my father's death as others can see but thank God because I am not. I withhold my mind to accuse them but rather, I think that everything happened has a purpose.
Monday morning, when we are eating, I already gave my extra food to my father, he's the one who always ate my extra food that I can't eat anymore. I am the youngest and I am the closest one to my father, well not really because we're very close to him, all of his children to him. He's very cheerful but a strict father, always making a joke yet he's very mean when it comes to serious matter especially when it talks about spiritual things. That day also, I ask my father's permission when I like to go in Lipa for Youth Anniversary, he says "yes" before I live to go to work because there's no Internet in our house, me and my sister, go to our brethren in Christ's residence to work there.
Monday afternoon, my brother texts us because there's an emergency happened in our house. That is my father. My mother run out as she could just to call for an help and bro. Luke decided to help us out to bring my father in the hospital. When we arrived in our house, I already saw my father, bowing his head, no responses, my sister is already crying and my brother already massaging my father's chest. I, when I saw him, I can't say anything or even touch him, that was the regretful thing I ever did. I don't understand if that moment, it syncing in my mind or not. Is it because I'm too afraid to lose him or what? Even I, I don't know in myself.
Only I, and my two sisters were left in our house and the only thing we can do is to call God for help, our Pastor came and he only saw us. So we pray, when we are praying, I already felt in my heart that my father can't make it. So, I try to hold back my tears, trying to stop it and thank God for everything. When Pastor left us, my sister is singing. I sang also, and this are the songs that I sing..
"He is worthy, worthy of our praise (2x) He's glorious, He's wonderful, He's everything to me"
"Something Keeps Holding Me" and the last one is.,
"My Redeemer is Faithful and True", when I'm going to sing this song, there's someone in my heart, ask me like this "What if your father is going to die, is God still faithful for you", something like that. So, I answered that question, I said "My Redeemer is Faithful and True" and I sang this song and I go outside and said, "Lord, who am I to hinder You? Let Your Will be done not mine" and I go inside again and said to them, I need to go down to turn off the laptop.
After I turn off the laptop, I return to our house and ask an update, my cousin, while crying says, "Uncle is dead", so I sat down, thinking nothing and has nothing to say. In the evening, I can't hold back my tears anymore, so I took my Bible and hug it while I'm lying on a bed and a handkerchief covered my face and said to God, "Lord, I don't want to ask anything, but You know when I'm in pain, I never told anyone about this but only You, so I need Your comfort now, because I'm in pain and I can't bear it on my own". To make the story short, God send His comfort and peace to me.
I thank God because He gave us everything we need that time, we have no money that time but God gave everything. Truly, God is a very present help in time of trouble. A lot of people cried because of my father's death. Almost all of us was shocked because it's a sudden and there are two burial in that time. Our church mate and my father. Bro. Victor's death is 11th of October while my father is 12th of October.
Thank God also because there's a lot of people who support us, who comfort us and thank God because even in that darkest moment, He make me smile. I attended services naturally, seems like no one died in our family, but God knows my heart. Even now, every time I remember this, it makes me sad because I miss him but thank God because He is already in a better place now.
After the burial, I thank God because He answered my prayer, and this is my prayer to Him, "Lord, You know my heart how I want to attend Lipa's Youth Anniversary but I need to go into my father's burial as a respect as her daughter, but I want to go there, You know how badly I want to attend that, so please make a way for me so I can attend Youth Service, before preaching we arrive there." So while we're in our way to Van terminal, I said to Ate Arlene, "We will arrive there that the van is already to depart". Thank God because everything what I say is happening.
I want to thank God for everything because from the beginning, He already know what He will do and I thank God because I am able to attend their Youth Anniversary. That's my heart's desire though I'm not well. My heart is in burning desire on how I wish to attend youth service. Now, it's already 1 year, but it seems like he is only in somewhere, working and still alive. God already took them to ease their suffering and to make them feel better. I know that on that day, God sees my faith on Him.
He teach me on how to praise, thank and worship Him in my darkest hour and now, He is worthy to be praised, good or bad something happened. And what Job says is faithful and true..
He said, "Naked (without possessions) I came (into this world) from my mother's womb, and naked I will return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord"
"But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" In all this did not Job sin with his lips.
So God is worthy to be praised, good or evil will come, He is worthy to be honored because He is great, and a BIG GOD!!
TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE FOREVER AND EVER!!!
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